Getting to where you want to be in life is not rocket science, but it can feel like an uphill battle as if you are walking backwards down the mountain instead of trotting up it like you are trying to do. The truth is, success, as I’m sure you have heard a million times, is not linear! There is no quick way to reach your true potential. Unfortunately, we all need to go through the pressure and heat in order to transform the coal we once were into the diamonds we are to become.

You need to start with where you are to get to where you want to go in life. The more specific you are about where you want to go will help you determine where you are currently. For example, If you only say, “I want to be rich” that statement is too vague, how would you know how to get there. Sure you could add more money, but how much money does it take to cross that threshold of being “rich?” You could be more specific by saying, “I want to make double my current salary.” This is specific, not only does it tell you what you need to accomplish, it gives you a benchmark to where you stand currently.

If you aren’t living the life of your dreams, then it is only because you either don’t know how to get there and that lack of knowledge keeps you from taking steps to achieve what you want, or you do know the steps to get there but you lack the confidence to take those steps. For most of us, it’s likely a mixture of both. Remember, you just need to know the next step, not the whole process. Knowing the next step is easy, don’t wait until you have every step planned out. Take that first step as soon as you know what it is. Don’t allow yourself to fall into analysis paralysis! Don’t talk yourself out of it! The instant you get an inspired thought as to the next step to take, take the step!

Planning is not bad, but if you are aiming for something you don’t currently have and you’ve never had it before, then that rock solid plan you waited to make, will likely lead you in the wrong direction. You would be building a plan with the knowledge of a person who hasn’t achieved the life of your dreams, yet. If you are going for something completely new to you, the only one thing you should focus on is the next step. Once you get moving and steps are revealed to you, the plan is likely going to be very different than what you imagine in the beginning as it unfolds before you. If you fall in love with the process and the feeling of taking positive action steps towards the life you have envisioned for yourself, you will be amazed at how fast you can get there.

You are currently living the life you previously imagined. Every thought, every action, every belief has led you to your current reality. If you want something different, you need to become something different. Your thoughts, actions, and beliefs need to align with the person you wish to be, not the person you currently are. That all starts today, right now. You can make a choice to start living as the person of your dreams. You don’t need to know just yet how to get there, you just have to make that first decision, that first choice, and then be committed to that new reality you wish to manifest. The steps to take to get there will come to you as you need them, for now just making that choice is your first step. Every step after this will come to you as you start walking the path of the newly inspired person you are becoming.

If you find yourself struggling to see the next steps to take, just walk yourself through what a perfect day in your perfect life would look like. Who do you spend your time with? What do you spend your time doing? Where do you go throughout your day? Once you can fully visualize your ideal reality you can work backwards. How did you get there? Is this something you need schooling for? Do you need to acquire skills? Do you need to meet someone to make this a reality? Are there habits you need to break? Chances are you already know how to get there, you just need a little push, and you can get that by looking at the end result you want to attain.

Become engaged with the person you want to be, the you that is living the life you desire. The more you do this, the easier it will be to take inspired action to become this person. There may be things you need to stop doing, habits that need to be broken and replaced with habits and actions that are better aligned with the person you want to become. If you are uncertain what habits the future you would have, look at someone who is living the life you want. If you do what they do, you think how they think, you act how they act, and you behave as they behave, you are going to have similar results that they have. Say you are wanting to get in shape. If you watch what fit people do, you will notice little things they do that unfit people don’t do. Live according to who you want to be and your external life will soon reflect back the life that you are consciously creating.

Our perspective is something we have 100% control over, yet most of us live our lives on autopilot and don’t question our perceptions. We react the way we always have, seeing through the lens of our past, we allow our surroundings to make decisions for us and we tell ourselves that our feelings, fears, desires, and perceptions can’t be changed. If we can accept 100% responsibility for every part of our lives, we can then begin to question and even alter our perceptions in order to get what we want in life.

When I was an undergrad at UCLA different departments would put little meditation rooms all over campus during finals week. While sitting in one of the meditation rooms, coloring to relieve my mind, I was happily drinking a cup of coffee that I got from a room that was a couple doors down from where I was sitting. My coffee was in a small Styrofoam cup and did not have a lid on it. I drink my coffee with a little creamer, but not very much, it doesn’t lighten the color of the coffee that much.

Almost as soon as I sat down, a girl walked in and asked where I got my tea. I responded, “Oh, this is coffee, I’m not sure if they have tea or not, but I got it from (down the hall).” She sighed and went to a mat that was laid on the floor between flickering led candles. I went back to my coloring but thought about why she didn’t go check to see if there was tea. I mean, they probably have tea too.

Within a few minutes another girl walked in and said, “I love hot chocolate! Where did you get it?”

I wasn’t sure if they had hot chocolate, because I myself don’t drink hot chocolate. I didn’t remember seeing any, but I also wasn’t looking for it. I told her where I got my coffee, without mentioning that I wasn’t sure if they had hot chocolate, and a few minutes later she came back with a cup of hot chocolate. A similar thing happened with another girl also looking for tea and assuming that I had hot tea in my cup. I told her where I got my coffee without correcting her about my cups contents.

All 3 girls saw what they wanted in my cup. None of which I was drinking. The first girl was persuaded not to go look for something that possibly wasn’t there. She wasn’t a coffee drinker, I am speculating on why she didn’t go and look, but finals are stressful. She obviously wanted a mental break, and the idea of going down the hall for a possibility seemed like too much of a risk. She was more concerned about meditating and relieving stress; tea would have been a bonus. Both of the girls who went to the room where I got my cup of coffee from expected that what they wanted would be there, so there was no risk of wasting time to go get it and only the benefit of having their beverage of choice.

We see what we want to see. But we also let the outer world’s voice guide our perception. For most of us, this is an unconscious part of our decision-making process. We make decisions based on our perceived pain or rewards. We either act or react based on our perceptions. The girl who decided not to go see if there was tea in the room just up the hall may have believed there was a chance there was not going to be tea. The other two girls who got the drinks they were wanting didn’t acknowledge that there may not be tea or hot chocolate, because they assumed that is what I had in my cup. For the two girls, going up the hall was a guaranteed reward of getting what they wanted because I told them where to get what they saw in my cup, therefore it was a sure thing. They did not have any expectation of possible pain from the situation such as a waste of time going to check if it was there.

It is important to look for what you want in life. See what you want to see. I am not saying you should be delusional, but if you want a particular job for instance, start looking for that job. Be open to finding it where you least expect it. Sure, look in the common places like LinkedIn and Indeed, but ask around. Not only within your network but people in line at the grocery store or the cashier. Post what you are looking for on Twitter or Facebook. What you are looking for IS there! Expect that the job (or any other situation) is already there, so much so that you see it in everything you do.

Don’t let your perception get in the way of what you want. You may have to go down the hall (metaphorically) to get it. But imagine that it is already there waiting for you. Don’t let someone tell you or allow yourself to think that what you want possibly might not be there. If you get to the room and what you are looking for isn’t there, well then you are one step closer to finding what it is you want by eliminating that possibility. We all basically make decisions based on seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, take a look at the greater scheme of things. What you perceive as a reward, is it really rewarding and what you perceive as pain, is it really painful? The better you get at noticing and making adjustments to your perception, the closer you will get to accomplishing in this life what it is you really want.

Overcoming limiting beliefs and adopting a more empowering mindset is a process that requires self-awareness, reflection, and intentional effort. We all want to live a life full of happiness and fulfillment, yet sometimes we let our limiting beliefs get in the way of where we want to be, and where we are. Here are 10 steps you can take to work towards overcoming limiting beliefs and cultivating an empowering mindset:

1. Identify Limiting Beliefs: Start by becoming aware of the limiting beliefs that may be holding you back. Pay attention to the thoughts and beliefs that arise when you face challenges or encounter self-doubt. Write them down and examine them later when you are no longer emotionally charged. Remember, just because you feel or believe something, doesn’t mean it’s true or a fact. Challenge your beliefs.
2. Challenge the Validity: Question the validity of your limiting beliefs. Look for evidence that supports or contradicts them. More often than not, you will find that these beliefs are based on assumptions, feelings, or past experiences and may not accurately reflect your current reality or potential.
3. Reframe and Replace: Once you have identified your limiting beliefs, consciously reframe them into more empowering and positive statements. Replace self-defeating thoughts with affirmations that support your growth and potential. For example, if you believe “I’m not good enough,” reframe it as “I am constantly growing and improving.”
4. Seek Counterexamples: Look for examples of people who have achieved what you aspire to achieve despite similar circumstances or challenges. Surround yourself with inspiring stories and role models who challenge the limiting beliefs you hold.
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind and compassionate towards yourself as you work on overcoming limiting beliefs. Recognize that everyone has fears and doubts but that they don’t define your worth or potential. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend or family member.
6. Embrace Growth Mindset Principles: Adopt the principles of a growth mindset. Embrace the belief that abilities can be developed, failures are opportunities for learning, and growth. Effort leads to progress. Remind yourself of these principles regularly and apply them in your daily life.
7. Visualization and Affirmations: Use visualization techniques to imagine yourself succeeding and embodying the qualities and mindset you desire. Practice affirmations that reinforce your new empowering beliefs. Repeat them daily and visualize yourself embodying them.
8. Surround Yourself with Support: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support your growth. Seek out mentors, coaches, or supportive friends who believe in your potential and can provide guidance and encouragement along your journey.
9. Take Action and Embrace Challenges: Break free from the grip of limiting beliefs by taking action and stepping out of your comfort zone. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. Each small step you take builds confidence and reinforces your new empowering mindset.
10. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Reflection: Cultivate mindfulness to observe your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs without judgment. Regular self-reflection allows you to become aware of any recurring limiting beliefs and consciously choose more empowering perspectives.

Adopting an empowering mindset is an ongoing practice. Be patient with yourself, celebrate small victories, and persevere through setbacks. Remember, YOU are worth it, your goals are worth it, and your life is worth it! With time and consistent effort, you can transform your mindset, overcome limiting beliefs, and create a foundation for personal growth and success.