Our perspective is something we have 100% control over, yet most of us live our lives on autopilot and don’t question our perceptions. We react the way we always have, seeing through the lens of our past, we allow our surroundings to make decisions for us and we tell ourselves that our feelings, fears, desires, and perceptions can’t be changed. If we can accept 100% responsibility for every part of our lives, we can then begin to question and even alter our perceptions in order to get what we want in life.
When I was an undergrad at UCLA different departments would put little meditation rooms all over campus during finals week. While sitting in one of the meditation rooms, coloring to relieve my mind, I was happily drinking a cup of coffee that I got from a room that was a couple doors down from where I was sitting. My coffee was in a small Styrofoam cup and did not have a lid on it. I drink my coffee with a little creamer, but not very much, it doesn’t lighten the color of the coffee that much.
Almost as soon as I sat down, a girl walked in and asked where I got my tea. I responded, “Oh, this is coffee, I’m not sure if they have tea or not, but I got it from (down the hall).” She sighed and went to a mat that was laid on the floor between flickering led candles. I went back to my coloring but thought about why she didn’t go check to see if there was tea. I mean, they probably have tea too.
Within a few minutes another girl walked in and said, “I love hot chocolate! Where did you get it?”
I wasn’t sure if they had hot chocolate, because I myself don’t drink hot chocolate. I didn’t remember seeing any, but I also wasn’t looking for it. I told her where I got my coffee, without mentioning that I wasn’t sure if they had hot chocolate, and a few minutes later she came back with a cup of hot chocolate. A similar thing happened with another girl also looking for tea and assuming that I had hot tea in my cup. I told her where I got my coffee without correcting her about my cups contents.
All 3 girls saw what they wanted in my cup. None of which I was drinking. The first girl was persuaded not to go look for something that possibly wasn’t there. She wasn’t a coffee drinker, I am speculating on why she didn’t go and look, but finals are stressful. She obviously wanted a mental break, and the idea of going down the hall for a possibility seemed like too much of a risk. She was more concerned about meditating and relieving stress; tea would have been a bonus. Both of the girls who went to the room where I got my cup of coffee from expected that what they wanted would be there, so there was no risk of wasting time to go get it and only the benefit of having their beverage of choice.
We see what we want to see. But we also let the outer world’s voice guide our perception. For most of us, this is an unconscious part of our decision-making process. We make decisions based on our perceived pain or rewards. We either act or react based on our perceptions. The girl who decided not to go see if there was tea in the room just up the hall may have believed there was a chance there was not going to be tea. The other two girls who got the drinks they were wanting didn’t acknowledge that there may not be tea or hot chocolate, because they assumed that is what I had in my cup. For the two girls, going up the hall was a guaranteed reward of getting what they wanted because I told them where to get what they saw in my cup, therefore it was a sure thing. They did not have any expectation of possible pain from the situation such as a waste of time going to check if it was there.
It is important to look for what you want in life. See what you want to see. I am not saying you should be delusional, but if you want a particular job for instance, start looking for that job. Be open to finding it where you least expect it. Sure, look in the common places like LinkedIn and Indeed, but ask around. Not only within your network but people in line at the grocery store or the cashier. Post what you are looking for on Twitter or Facebook. What you are looking for IS there! Expect that the job (or any other situation) is already there, so much so that you see it in everything you do.
Don’t let your perception get in the way of what you want. You may have to go down the hall (metaphorically) to get it. But imagine that it is already there waiting for you. Don’t let someone tell you or allow yourself to think that what you want possibly might not be there. If you get to the room and what you are looking for isn’t there, well then you are one step closer to finding what it is you want by eliminating that possibility. We all basically make decisions based on seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, take a look at the greater scheme of things. What you perceive as a reward, is it really rewarding and what you perceive as pain, is it really painful? The better you get at noticing and making adjustments to your perception, the closer you will get to accomplishing in this life what it is you really want.